Girls see shyness as snobbery. Perhaps boys do too - I wouldn't know.
How did I learn this? Therein lies the tale.....
I was at a Youth Group event (one of two I attended the entire year), and I had recieved a request from the very sweet younger brother of a casual girl friend of mine to spend time with a girl we're going to call "Allie", who was being left out by the other girls. Knowing how being left out in the cold like this feels, and also wishing to reward the brother for noticing someone was being left out, I went along with it, and spent the entire event with Allie. It was surprisingly enjoyable, and near the end, over a plate of cheese pizza, she confessed to me the following:
ALLIE: You know, I always thought you were sort of stuck-up, Brenna. But you're really not. You're really cool.
BRENNA: >chokes on pizza< Stuck up???
ALLIE: >unabashedly< Yeah. You never talked to anyone, and you always wore really nice clothes to church, and we all thought you just thought you were better than us.
BRENNA: >with wide eyes< I... I was SHY. I was scared of you all. And my parents have firm rules about church attire.
ALLIE: Oh. Well. I know you're not a snob now. >laughs< You're fun! Who knew?
BRENNA: >chews on lower lip< ... Um, yeah... who knew...
Not only does this win the AWKWARD!!! Award, this opened up a new perspective to my blind eyes. Maybe it's not just my social ineptitude that causes me to be shunned places like Church or Awana. (More on Social Ineptitude later.)
When I shut myself off from the world, whether that mean silence at social events, or simply a guarded expression during EVERYTHING, I'm not projecting my caution to the world - I'm projecting a sense of superiority.
Which just makes me ask myself.... is there any truth in what I project? Do I believe I am better than them?
Ah, much to think over.
Love Always Protects,