Pages To Turn


I Have Returned, Dahlings

First Summit treat for y'all - this is me in my rented wheelchair:

I'll have to tell the story later. Summit stuff will be posted in bursts over the next several weeks.


Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are taking a trip across a desert by hot-air balloon. There are not many landmarks; so eventually, they become lost. Luckily, while flying quite low, they see a man.
Holmes shouts, "Sir, could you please tell me where we are?"
The man looks up, ponders for a moment, and then answers, "Gentlemen, you are in a hot-air balloon!"
At this moment, a burst of wind picks up the balloon and carries it away.
Holmes turns to Watson and asks: "My friend, do you know who that man is?"
"No, Holmes, of course not!"
"He's a mathematician!"
"How do you know?"
"It's very simple, Watson. First of all, the man thought before giving us an answer. Secondly, his answer was absolutely correct. And thirdly, the answer he gave us was of no practical use, whatsoever!"

My Looming Absence

I've been so wrapped up in writing this post about my quiz history (mostly for my own benefit), that I forgot to tell you guys that I'm actually going to Nationals. I leave on the 12th (next Monday) and return sometime on the 16th (next Friday, I think). Not gone nearly as long as I thought, so that's good/bad. =P I haven't decided which way that's going to go. We'll see how I get along with my teammates.

So, pray for me if you're so inclined. I... well, I don't expect to do as well as usual this year. Last-minute team, teammates I don't know very well at all... plus, I'm be the best buzzer on the team which is just... just... ::bursts out laughing::

BTW, I'm working on making this new background for le blog from scratch, so it'll be switching stuff in weird ways for a little while. I think being a webdesigner is slowly ruining me, because I keep getting mad at Blogger for not letting me choose my own highlight color...



Guess Who Said...

"Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. 
Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity."

This Is The Devil Speaking

It's always interesting to IM someone and end up talking to a different body. One not-quite-enjoyable time, I turned out to be talking to Joker, instead of Jester, and was sufficiently embarrassed.
But this story has been BEATEN. Just the other night, I messaged my dear big sister Morwen, who's in college over in Virginia, and was greeted by the following...

Brenna: Hello dahling
10:02 PM Morwen: Hello this is satan
 Brenna: Hi, Satan.
 Morwen: How are you
 Brenna: I'm just dandy.
  How 'bout yourself?
10:04 PM Morwen: Well the imps have been getting out of hand and we had a nasty batch of confused lawyers but otherwise good
10:05 PM Brenna: Aren't confused lawyers right up your alley?
  I was under the impression you were the one confusing them.
10:06 PM Morwen: Nope these were special usually lawyers are totally chill. These thought that they were in the wrong spot. A most unusual problem for the demons of bureaucacy.
10:07 PM Brenna: Fascinating.
10:08 PM Morwen: I am SATAN spelling is irrelevant
10:09 PM Brenna: Your main goal is seducing people to your dark side. You need to sound intelligent. People don't blindly follow ignoramuses.
 MorwenOne word
  I win
 Brenna: Touche
10:10 PM Morwen: Indeed
 Brenna: However,
  Is there was anything wrong with Obama's spelling?
  Chances are he didn't write much of anything on the campaign, but that's beside the point...
10:11 PM Morwen: So you cant judge his spelling if you have never seen his writing
10:12 PM Brenna: Have you? I'd think you'd be intimately acquainted with the man.
10:13 PM Morwen: I said nothing about my knowledge of his spelling. Only mentioned that you were not an expert
 Brenna: I realize this,
  but I'm not just arguing, I'm attempting to discover the truth,
  and as I'm obviously sitting here talking to an authority on the world of Obama,
  I took the opportunity to use my available resources.
10:15 PM Morwen: he is just like Hitler was . . . just dumber
 Brenna: I don't know anything about Hitler's spelling, either.
10:16 PM Morwen: It was atrocious
10:17 PM Brenna: You're just saying that to make me believe people won't care that you sometimes spell badly.
  I'm just trying to look out for your image, Satan.
  You really need a PR staff.
10:18 PM Morwen: No we only have lawyers and accountants here
 Brenna: That's my point exactly.
10:19 PM Morwen: If you really want to help you could send a few down
10:20 PM Brenna: Pff.
  What's in it for me?
10:21 PM Morwen: Power over your hair
  we have an imp specially assigned . . .
 Brenna: I have no desire to conquer my hair.
  I'd rather work in harmony with it.
10:23 PM Morwen: Ah but tell me it would not be immensely satisfying
 Brenna: Are you kidding?
10:24 PM Life's challenges are what makes it worthwhile.
 Morwen: But they do get tiring
10:25 PM Brenna: ::shrug:: so does breathing
 Morwen: Well we can fix that one too eventially
 Brenna: But it works so splendidly already.
  If it ain't broke,
  don't fix it.
10:26 PM Of course, you weren't a fan of how everything was put together in the first place, now were you?
10:27 PM Morwen: Well no but I did get things to the way they are
10:29 PM Brenna: Not on your own, you didn't.
  But that's a conversation for another time.
  I have to run.
 Morwen: ah sad
  I will catch you later
 Brenna: I'm not sure I like that phrasing.

I must say this just about made my day. I'd figured out about 3 lines into it who I was talking to (a friend of Morwen's, who I've heard stories about), but of course played along, because playing is what I do best. 


Rose In Bloom

I finished Rose In Bloom quite a while back, but I just got around to actually scheduling its post.

I... really adore this book couplet. Perhaps because Rose is surrounded by boys, which is often how I feel myself... or perhaps because her mission in life is to be useful and good and edifying to those around her - especially her boy cousins.

Or maybe it's because I predicted back in Eight Cousins, when she was 12 or so, who she would marry at the end of Rose in Bloom, when she was 20-something. I also applaud her decision. She picked the one I would have. =P

Eight Cousins
 and Rose in Bloom have taught me way too much to mention here...

Some excerpts:

"Young eyes look for a Paradise, and weep when they find a work-a-day world, which seems full of care and trouble, till one learns to gladden and glorify it with high thoughts and holy living."


"It was impossible for her to help seeing, hearing, guess from a significant glance, a stray word, a slight hint here and there; and the quick instinct of a woman felt even before it understood the self-interest which chilled for her so many opening friendships. In her eyes, love was a very sacred thing, hardly to be thought of till it came, reverently received, and cherished faithfully to the end. Therefore, it is not strange that she shrunk from hearing it flippantly discussed, and marriage treated as a bargain to be haggled over, with little thought of its high duties, great responsibilities, and tender joys...
Dr. Alec understood the mood in which he found her, and did his best to warn without saddening by too much worldly wisdom. "You are something besides an heiress to those who know and love you; so take heart, my girl and hold fast to the faith that is in you. There is a touchstone for all these things, and whatever does not ring true doubt and avoid. Test and try men and women as the come along; and I am sure conscience, instinct, and expreience will keep you from any dire mistake," he said, with a protecting arm about her, and a trustful look that was very comforting. 
After a moment's pause, she answered, while a sudden smile dimpled round her mouth, and the big glove went up to half hide her tell-tale cheeks, - 
"Uncle, if I must have lovers, I do wish they'd be more ineresting. How can I like or respect men who go on as some of them do, and then imagine women can feel honored by the offer of their hands? Hearts are out of fashion, so they don't say much about them."


"I don't like prigs. I want a gentleman in the best sense of the word, and I can wait; for I've seen one, and know there are more in the world."


...[he] saw her sink down at his feet sink down at his feet in a passion of tears that frightened him. He took her to the sofa, and tried to comfort her; but, as soon as the bitter sobbing quieted, she looked up and said quite steadily, great drops rolling down her cheeks the while, - "Let me cry; it is what I need, and I shall be all the better for it by and by."
...Mac [marveled] in his turn at the curiously blended strength and weakness of womankind.


You're It!

Qwip's Random Tag... 'cuz I actually like tags...

1. How many toes do you have?
Nine and 9/10ths. I ripped the end off of one of my little toes last year. Luckily, the nail grew back.

2. How many bones have you broken?
Exactly zero. I've done everything but break most of my bones. I may be accident-prone, but I never stoop to accidents that hurt me in such an easy-to-fix way as 

3. Name an epic thing that you have done.
Well. I once got a QuizBox to register a tie using only my Right and Left hands. That's not Epic to everyone... but it's really hard to do. QuizBoxes are built to sort out buzzes that happen within thousandths of seconds of each other.

4. If you had a pet lemming, what would you name him?
Viktor, Bane of Mordor

5. What color are the clothes you're wearing right now?
Blue and gray - I'm in my yoga clothes right now.

6. How awesome are orca whales on a scale of one to ten?
::shrug:: 4

8. How old do you want to be when you die?
90s would be great. I could deal with 80s, though. I don't plan on going crazy or losing my memory or any of that junk. I also plan to keep whatever husband I end up with alive until I die, so he has to deal with all the paperwork and stuff. And so he can entertain me to my dying minute. (what? Is that too much to ask?)
As for doing interesting things while dying... what, people don't do interesting things when they're 90? I've heard of some epic Nursing Home pranks, thank you. 

9. Name a pet peeve and an addiction.
Pet Peeve - girls who pretend to care about you just because you look like you've had a bad day, then ignore you when you seem fine. I'd rather they stuck to ignoring me - it's honest. 
Addiction - I have many addictions. But right now I'm craving Spicy Cheetos. 

10. Write a paragraph detailing your life. 100 word minimum.
The first two years of my life were blissful and attention-filled. Then my little brother came along, and everything went downhill. From age 4 to age 10, my best friend was a boy named Jake, who had asked me when we were 6 if I would marry him. Then he moved, and I moved, and we never really saw each other for any length of time after that. I was a weird-looking kid. Stringy in body but fat in face, with either cloud of electricity-filled hair or two thick braids framing my face (depending on whether or not I was "dressed up"). I didn't care about clothes, so I looked weird in that respect too. Even when I 
started caring about clothes, I looked weird, because I couldn't get it right to save my cat's 9th life. I probably still look a little strange in that department, but no longer care. I went through an emo-ish phase from age 13 through 15, but emerged from it after realizing that I was only acting/dressing that way to impress a certain group of people, and that I wasn't attracted to the scene myself at all. So I went out, made real friends who like me for me, and moved on with a happier life. Speaking of friends, I am extremely loyal to the ones I have, and not usually very open to making new ones, though my defenses can be battered down with intelligence, wit, and the appearance of genuine interest. 
Heh. That wasn't exactly a detailed account of my life, but it WAS 245 words. 

11. Name one thing that isn't really a secret, but that you haven't really gotten around to telling anyone.
Oh, I'm once again writing a novel. It's been about 3 months now, and I haven't gotten around to alerting my writing friends, I guess...

12. Name another pet peeve.
Apathy drives me nuts when I'm trying to get stuff done with other people. Apathy's not the right word, exactly. It's the way some people take me by the shoulders and try to convince me that "it doesn't have to be 
perfect, Brenna," when we quite OBVIOUSLY have the time and resources to MAKE it perfect. This especially bothers me when I'm in a leadership position, and the people I'm leading are talking down to me like this.

13. Sprechen Sie deutsch?
How dare you speak to me like that?

14. Tell a joke.
Two hunters were walking through the woods, rifles slung across their shoulders. Suddenly, one fell to the ground and clutched his chest, obviously in horrible pain. His friend had a cell phone, and called 911. But while he was dialing, the other hunter became still, and his head lolled to the side. A woman's voice came over the phone. "911, what's your emergency?"
"Quick! I need help! I think my friend is dead!"
"Now, calm down sir. I can help. First, I need you to make sure he is dead."The operator waited, and then heard a gun shot.
The hunter came back on the phone, and said, "Okay, now what?"

15. How many of the questions have you answered in a witty manner so far?
Let's be nice to me and say 3.

16. Compose a haiku.
Come see loneliness.
Look - because you have come to see,
Lonely isn't lonely

I *think* those are the right syllable counts. ::shrug:: I'm not good at poetry.

17. Have you ever noticed how sour candies taste even more sour if you rub them on the side of your tongue? else would you eat them?

18. What book(s) are you reading at the moment?
The Green And The Gray, by Timothy Zahn. Proving to be excellent (thanks, Problematic). I'm reading the book of John too, preparing to begin memorization. I'm probably reading other stuff, but I can't think of it right now...

19. How many doors are there in your house?
O.o Gosh. 

::counts in head:: ...17.

20. How would you solve a problem like Maria?
The nuns had it right. Marry her off so she's someone 
else's problem. 

21. Think of something about yourself. Anything. Go on, think of it.
Now think of something more interesting. Write it down here.
What the first thing I thought of was really interesting? What then? What if I have an impossible time topping it? What THEN? Did you think of that? NOOOOO, I guess you didn't.  

More interesting... um... well, I'm a fabulous Gimmick Rallye navigator. (that means a car "race" of sorts that goes around local areas solving riddles and clues while also trying to be the first car to finish. They're popular among sports car/classic car clubs. My dad and I run them in his Fiat Spider. I'm the one with the map, who writes down our answers and get us lost. But we win most of the time anyway, because we're good at riddles.)

22. What's wrong with your legs?
Well, they're always bruised, because I'm a klutz. And right now, my left ankle is in pain because there are torn ligaments inside it. 

24. What's your favorite show tune?
I'm rather a fan of "A Hymn To Him", from My Fair Lady. 
"Men are so decent, such regular chaps.
Ready to help you through any mishaps.
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum.
Why can't a woman be a chum?
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?"

25. Okay, you can tell us what that first thing you thought of for number 21 was. We all want to know, even if it isn't interesting.
I've been dancing around singing "Hakuna Matata" all morning.

I tag anyone who got to the end of this post. Haha!


It Is Finished

Passion Play went down smoothly last night. Applause for everyone.

I had half a fever the entire time, so I might not have been as helpful a stage manager/student director as I could have been, but everyone actually KNEW THEIR CUES which was a lovely change from last year.


Never Simple, Never Easy

"The hardest part of loving some one is to know when to let go and to know when to say good bye." (Unknown)

Have you ever lost someone? Halfway lost someone? Been estranged from someone? Grown apart from someone? Broken apart from someone? Been separated from someone who was like another half of you, whether by time, distance, death, misunderstanding, or betrayal? Has anyone you were knit to ever broken your heart into too many little pieces for it to be possible that they could find, pick up, and glue together the shards?

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” (Margaret Mitchell)

You have memories, brilliant memories with someone, but they have become mere reminders of what used to be, who used to be... it's difficult to remember the good times happily, and let the fact that they won't happen again blow away with the wind. 

"You can know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just one more second, just so it can hurt a little more..." (Unknown)

Distance heals some wounds. Times heals most others. But some are simply too deep to completely eradicate. You become conflicted, trying to find balance.
When you see someone again, after being apart... sometimes, the wound you thought had healed will burst open again.

We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry. (Unknown)

But it's not only about your pain. It's also about the other person's. You were close - you don't want them to hurt. You knew each other - you still do. And because you know them, you can almost feel the searing pain in their own lives as you're torn away.

"Hearts live by being wounded." (Oscar Wilde)

Sometimes leaving is a choice. The choice is not easy. It shouldn't be. The difficulty is part of the merit.

"Moving on is simple, what you leave behind, that makes it so difficult." (Unknown) 

Sometimes, leaving is the only way to salvage what is left of the love. When leaving is not difficult, what once was Alive is Dead. But friendships... even friendships that are impossible to keep... should be kept alive. 

"Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone - but part, while you can part friends."  (William Hazlitt)

It's not fun. It's not desirable. But I am a firm believer in parting while the Good Memories can still eclipse the Bad. Never let the damage block out the knowledge that Good existed. Keep a little of that Good locked away in a corner closet of your heart, save it for that time between sleeping and waking. 

We all lose friends... we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off.  Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." (Amy Marie Walz)

To those I have left - 
I Love you still. 
But it has proven impossible to show my Love in any way but leaving. 
It is the Best Way.
I leave so that you are away from me. 
I leave to save you from my Jealousy, my Pride, my Anger 
(righteous anger or not)
I leave to save our memories. 
I leave to ensure that We are not ruined utterly. 
I might come back.
If it's Right to come back.
And you might not have me again...
But this is a risk I have to take. 
All I can play is My Part.

Love is Ever Flowing,