Never Simple, Never Easy

"The hardest part of loving some one is to know when to let go and to know when to say good bye." (Unknown)

Have you ever lost someone? Halfway lost someone? Been estranged from someone? Grown apart from someone? Broken apart from someone? Been separated from someone who was like another half of you, whether by time, distance, death, misunderstanding, or betrayal? Has anyone you were knit to ever broken your heart into too many little pieces for it to be possible that they could find, pick up, and glue together the shards?

“I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” (Margaret Mitchell)

You have memories, brilliant memories with someone, but they have become mere reminders of what used to be, who used to be... it's difficult to remember the good times happily, and let the fact that they won't happen again blow away with the wind. 

"You can know the end of something great is coming, but you want to hold on, just one more second, just so it can hurt a little more..." (Unknown)

Distance heals some wounds. Times heals most others. But some are simply too deep to completely eradicate. You become conflicted, trying to find balance.

When you see someone again, after being apart... sometimes, the wound you thought had healed will burst open again.

We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry. (Unknown)

But it's not only about your pain. It's also about the other person's. You were close - you don't want them to hurt. You knew each other - you still do. And because you know them, you can almost feel the searing pain in their own lives as you're torn away.

"Hearts live by being wounded." (Oscar Wilde)

Sometimes leaving is a choice. The choice is not easy. It shouldn't be. The difficulty is part of the merit.

"Moving on is simple, what you leave behind, that makes it so difficult." (Unknown) 

Sometimes, leaving is the only way to salvage what is left of the love. When leaving is not difficult, what once was Alive is Dead. But friendships... even friendships that are impossible to keep... should be kept alive. 

"Do not keep on with a mockery of friendship after the substance is gone - but part, while you can part friends."  (William Hazlitt)

It's not fun. It's not desirable. But I am a firm believer in parting while the Good Memories can still eclipse the Bad. Never let the damage block out the knowledge that Good existed. Keep a little of that Good locked away in a corner closet of your heart, save it for that time between sleeping and waking. 

We all lose friends... we lose them in death, to distance and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off.  Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on." (Amy Marie Walz)

To those I have left - 

I Love you still. 

But it has proven impossible to show my Love in any way but leaving. 
It is the Best Way.

I leave so that you are away from me. 

I leave to save you from my Jealousy, my Pride, my Anger 
(righteous anger or not)

I leave to save our memories. 

I leave to ensure that We are not ruined utterly. 

I might come back.

If it's Right to come back.

And you might not have me again...

But this is a risk I have to take. 
All I can play is My Part.

Love is Ever Flowing, 

-=Brenna=-


“Friendships begun in this world will be taken up again, never to be broken off.”
 ~St. Francis de Sales