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Hazardous (Addiction #1)


Not to be confused with "oomph", the noise I make when my cat jumps on my lap and knocks the wind out of me while I'm typing.

No, "mmph" is the sound of me rising from my position flat on the ground, with my arms tense and flexed behind my head, lifting them straight up into the air, lifting my torso off the ground using my core (mmph), and stretching my arms and torso forward over my legs, reaching my fingertips past my toes, which are also pointing ahead of me. (Mmph).
I've just come from my strengthening routine, you see. I'm quite addicted to my excercise. Weights, Yoga, and Pilates.
Not many people know this, and no one would notice unless they had the chance to see me lifting something heavy or arm wrestling someone. I am, after all, a girl - and girls don't have the same muscles as boys. Therefore, my arms just look straight and rather thin and breakable. The muscle only appears if it has to be used (I prefer it this way - nothing is ickier than a female with a bunch of gross, massive muscle apparent). But just because they look wimpy does not mean they can't stand up to a great amount of weight. For instance, just last night (this is what brought this post about), we had Jester's family over to have dinner with us. Somehow, right before they departed, my younger brother had the idea to arm-wrestle, and eventually got matched with me. Now, understand that my brother is 3 inches taller than me, and weighs at least 50 pounds more. He looks like he should crush me. But no! I can beat little bro in about 10 seconds, with either arm. And then everyone looks surprised, and I get insulted because they didn't expect it of me.

I take great pride in being strong. I'm not shy about telling people I take pride in being strong, though I would usually view telling people of my prides rather... distasteful. I view it as taking care of myself, in two ways.
1) Health. My body stays in shape, and the excercises help strengthen my back so that I can eventually fully recover from the accident.
2) Self-defense. I revel in the ability to disable anyone who tries to hurt me (or someone around me). I know basic self-defense, along with key pressure points, and I also carry a knife just about everywhere I go. Though the blade be small, I can hurt you with it if you try something funny.

All this, and especially the title of the post, is frightfully funny if you know me at all. I don't look hazardous, and I hardly ever do anything dangerous or violent. I don't even look like I'm 17, as I have these, erhm, lovely chipmunk cheeks... one baby characteristic I can't seem to rid myself of. None of this lends itself to a dangerous aura. But nevertheless, I can take care of myself.

How about you? What do you do to take care of yourself?


P.S. I need feedback on my new background. This one or the previous one? I can't decide. I'm leaning towards previous, but... I don't know.


  1. Well that's great that you do all those exercises. It really helps later in life, especially if you keep it up.

  2. What do I do?

    The weights, Pilates (ahem.. really need to get on that consistantly... though I love it)

    AND the pocket knives. Multiple ones.

    I love wearing a pick sweater (like the one I wore at lit discussion tonight) and knowing I have 3 knives in my purse.

    Right next to the bobby pins. Yeah!

  3. I like doing:

    1) Alternating sets of 10 pullups and 30 pushups,
    2) Stretching to obtain flexibility, which has numerous combative advantages,
    3) Carrying various sharp objects.

    Summary, I can crush, ninja, or shank my opponent.

  4. @Gray - Yay! Another Pilates person!

    @Old Timer - you might win the "most dangerous person I know" award. =P


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