A Discussion Of Interpersonal Relations

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just found this buried in my drafts, and figured I'd just post it in all its unfinished-ness. There were 2 other friend-types that I came up with, but by now they're gone from my mind.

And if anyone has a fitting quote for the Initially-Unapproachable type, I'd be grateful.

As I see it, there are several ways friends come about. This post is dedicated to my analysis.

The Phileo-At-First-Sight

 Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet;

and two others at first speech are old friends.

-  Mary Catherwood

When you meet someone, and the chemistry is undeniable from the first. It’s a welcome surprise, and nothing restores your faith in humanity more than the Insta-Friend.
One of my best friends came about this way, and somehow it's worked out that we've stayed friends, despite various obstacles.
The Insta-Friend, it seems, often drifts away like smoke, and weeks later there is nary a trace of him/her to be found. Perhaps this is because Insta Friends are based on first impressions and shared interests - not on anything deeper quite yet. If, after the sparkle and attraction of the first meeting, more important and deep chemistry is brewed, the Insta-Friend can become a Very Important Person indeed.

The Parent-Trapped

  "A new friendship is like an unripened fruit - it may become either an orange or a lemon"

- Emma Stacey     

You know, when your parents are friends with their parents which results in dinners together and field trips together (if you’re homeschooled), and often a frightening amount of identical activities. You get along because you have to, and sometimes that works out well.

My 4-year-old Love was a Parent-Caused friend... come to think, MOST Preschool and Kindergarten friends are parent-caused. Anyway, our mothers decided that since he was a boy and I was a girl, they could just arrange to have us marry when we were 18 or something. Until we were 8, this plan seemed to be going splendidly. Then our families drifted apart. Though, whenever I see him (about every other year. =P), we get along just as easily and splendidly as we did when we were throwing leaves and sand at each other in the park.
Sad to say, most of my other Parent Trapped friends turned out to be non-friends. They just don't seem to work out for me.

The Former-Antagonist

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends."

- Walt Whitman

 
The people who you didn’t like before, had a bad first impression of, were at violent enmity with, or just found distasteful. But somehow, somewhere along the line, they became more than tolerable. My mentor is a Former-Antagonist. I didn’t really like her much at first, and she thought I was a lazy dense person, but something happened after a while and now she’s one of my favorite people in the world. I can't explain this phenomenon, except by mentioning vagueries of Stockholm Syndrome. Even that doesn't cover it, because Former-Antagonist relationships can be perfectly healthy, while Stockholm Syndrome is rather not.

The Initially-Unapproachable

Sometimes, you just don’t notice people until you are shoved into a play with them, or you’re siphoned into a small discussion group with them, or you’re trapped in an elevator with them. And then you find out, hey! They’re not bad – they’re just really… beige. Blend-In-y.
Or, they intimidate you. It works both ways.
I tend to be this way (both of those ways), and most of my casual friendships start when someone takes the time to peel back the wallpaper that is apparently my facial camouflage.

-=Brenna=-