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I'm in Eastern Washington right now.

1) It's really hot and sunny. I got burnt on one side of my face. I'm half redskin, half paleface.
2) There has been pie, ice cream, and Fanta strawberry. Also Mexican Hot Chocolate.
3) There was a Pancake Breakfast, a Parade in which they threw candy, and tonight we are going to see the Pirates of Penzance (Gilbert and Sullivan) at the Zillah High School.
4) My uncles are in the next room telling Racist Jokes. Earlier, we were having a spirited conversation about Cat Abortions.

5) Uncle Martin has almost convinced me that I need to become a criminal psychologist, learn Farsi, and work for the FBI. He says I would be snapped up really quick and paid lots of money, as long as I was willing to move somewhere foreign and hot and wear a burka for a while.
6) Everyone's tan over here. I am ashamed of my vampire skin, for once. Perhaps this summer my Project should be Operation: Tan...?
Ah, things.


  1. Tip from another paleface: Forget operation tan. You'll be the one laughing in forty years when all your tan friends have skin cancer.


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